Guide to Amsterdam’s best brown bars.

By Andy Fenner

Brown bars. I mean…not the sexiest name, but the Dutch are nothing if not direct. And what else to call a bar that is… well… brown?

For anyone new to Amsterdam, this is actually a loving descriptor given to the ubiquitous wood-panelled bars that populate this beautiful city. Steeped in history, they are every bit as much a part of Amsterdam as the canals that so many of them call home.

In other words, a brown bar is much better than it sounds. Often dripping with rich stories (one claiming to have been a point where sailors would repeatedly get hammered and wake up with little or no recollection of enlisting for massive journeys with the Dutch East India Company), these establishments wear the city’s history with pride. Tobacco-stained walls are part of the charm, as is the refusal to change, simply to keep up with the times.

These are not places to try an IPA made somewhere in Scandinavia by a guy called Lars, who promises “notes of grapefruit and pine.” If you want a nice bottle of skin-contact orange, maybe try somewhere else.

A brown bar is for the classics.

That said, there is always a need to evolve slightly and part of that evolution manifests as the food being served. The best way to get people to stay longer (and spend more) is to have some decent food on offer. Here are some brown bars that are on top of their food game.

*Café ‘t Papeneilend’s famous apple pie. Image from @cafepapeneiland.*

CAFE ‘T SLUISJE
With the explosion of good restaurant options in the North, you’ll have a pick of what to eat. Mexican, Japanese, Italian, Vietnamese. It doesn’t matter if you’re hunting down a burger (check out The Beef Chief), or getting something more sophisticated at Europa. You’re covered. But you might just find yourself in between meals. That late afternoon lull when you’re in need of a good beer and just a little snack. Okay, okay, a few snacks.

Enter Cafe ‘t Sluisje. Because there’s a time and a place for ossenwrost and kroketten. And that time and place is this. The postcard-pretty Sluisje reminds you why you should always make time to sip a beer and eat something simple.

TWEE PRINSEN
Twee Prinsen is what happens when the city’s most exciting restaurant/hospitality group turns their attention to the humble brown bar. With the massive success of places like Binnenvisser, Cornerstore and Loof already behind them – and the very recently-opened Calisto already tipped to follow with what are now the expected accolades – Twee Prinsen is a good example of why these guys just seem to get it right, every time.

Instead of reinventing the wheel, Twee Prinsen retains the visual of a typical brown bar, except that it has been a bit…polished. The traditional big, canal-facing window is still there, as is the long bar counter, wooden panelling and woven outdoor chairs. Tables are tight and carried around to suit the weather. On days that the sun makes an appearance (yes, the sun actually comes out, every now and then), every inch outside is utilised, with people carrying chairs across the road.

Inside, the kitchen serves clever food, making use of techniques like confit, rillettes, terrines and pickling to make sure that food can be served up with no cooking to order. Top-drawer cheese with fantastic bread is always on hand. Fresh, vibrant natural wine and good beer make sure that this brown bar shines a lot brighter than the colour it is named after.

CAFE ‘T PAPENEILEND
Not a lot of peeps would name Bill Clinton as the OG influencer. But it was a pretty specific craving (and not the type that you may think – get your mind out of the gutter!) that led the former president through the doors of this classic establishment.

It was apple pie.

Having stopped in for a bite of the much-hyped dessert, Clinton named it The Best In The World. The rest, as they say, is history.

If you want to see if he was right, it’s worth stopping in. At the very least, it gives you a chance to justify some daytime drinking. Nothing matches up with apple pie like a glass of Jenever.

*Image from @cafepapeneiland, Café ‘t Papeneilend*

KIKKIE
Bar Kikkie is more ambitious than a brown bar, but it has the same cosy appeal. It has the same let’s-hang-out-in-here-and-see-what-happens invitation. It has the same Avoid The Amsterdam Weather playbook.

The food is sort of an elevated stab at comfort food and it is presented with supreme confidence that only a talented kitchen team can back up. There’s just that little bit of thought – that little bit of extra consideration – with every plate. It’s food that makes you want to stay and order another drink, as demonstrated by the impossibly good deep-fried olives. There’s fish tartar, rotating soups and grilled langoustines but it’s the off-menu smash burger that has developed cult-like status over a very short period. For good reason too, it is everything you need from a burger and the quality of ingredients plus the ratios (bread:meat:toppings) show exactly how much thought this place puts into everything coming out of the kitchen.

To drink, tapped beer is an obvious and expected choice but a stellar natural wine lineup and slam-dunk cocktails (especially the Negroni) give you plenty of options.

CAFE DE PAREL
I know. I know. This place is not a brown bar. It’s way more ambitious than that and the service is far more attentive. It is not a brown bar and I am not calling it one.

But it used to be.

The interior has been deliberately retained, to a large extent. I mean, it’s been updated, of course, but the bones of a brown bar remain. And that is part of what makes this room so special.

To be eating food of this calibre – and to be receiving it from such a polished front of house – would normally be associated with a stark room in Copenhagen. A drinks menu like this would be right at home in a bustling Barcelona wine bar. The open flames, licking up from the hibachi grill, could be in a Tokyo alley.

So, to be sitting in a warm, dimly-lit room with low lights and a comforting, dark interior is special. Traditional stained-glass windows and monumental-inspired, decorative tiles add a dimension to every plate coming across the pass. Brass, oak and exposed concrete bring this brown bar very quickly into any conversation about the coolest places to eat in Amsterdam. If you manage to grab a seat at the signature long table, you can savour a mussel escabeche laced with bright fennel—beautiful, balanced cooking.